{"id":4277,"date":"2017-07-05T20:11:45","date_gmt":"2017-07-05T20:11:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.listenandlearn.org\/blog\/?p=4277"},"modified":"2017-07-05T20:13:17","modified_gmt":"2017-07-05T20:13:17","slug":"the-trials-and-tribulations-of-the-inexperienced-traveller","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.listenandlearn.org\/blog\/the-trials-and-tribulations-of-the-inexperienced-traveller\/","title":{"rendered":"The Trials and Tribulations of the Inexperienced Traveller"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

GIF via Giphy<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

When you go to a new place on a quest for new experiences, surely it follows that there will be new things for you to discover. That, particularly if you go abroad, there will be things you don\u2019t understand, the location will have its own culture and history and was not<\/i> in fact rapidly constructed overnight for your own, personal delight, and that, heaven forbid, the people there, the locals, speak an entirely different language than your own.<\/p>\n

You\u2019d think, at least you\u2019d hope, that those very possibilities would occur to the average traveller before they step outside their own front door. But according to polls taken by Thomas Cook and ABTA (Association of British Travel Agents), as well as various Twitter rants, that just isn\u2019t the case. Join us as we despair a little at some of those travellers, who apparently never imagined that the entire world wasn\u2019t dreamt up to cater to their every whim.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

GIF via Giphy<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Spot the Brit<\/b><\/p>\n

...because we\u2019re embarrassingly easy to spot:<\/p>\n

\"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.\"
\n<\/i>Well, fair. Who doesn\u2019t love a good biscuit to dunk? We bet they packed teabags as well (Yorkshire, hopefully).<\/p>\n

\"The bar wasn\u2019t open so I couldn\u2019t have my 7am airport pint.\"<\/i>
\nTraumatic, we\u2019re sure. If only they sold Special Brew in 100ml cans you could take through security.<\/p>\n

\"The street signs weren\u2019t in English. I don\u2019t understand how anyone can get around.\"<\/i>
\n\u2026?<\/p>\n

\"The weather at home was nice while we were away so the whole holiday seemed a bit pointless.\"
\n<\/i>Ah, yes, the perils of being a Brit abroad, when back home is experiencing one of its annual ten days of allocated Decent Weather\u2122\ufe0f. Next you\u2019ll be complaining about the wrong kind of sand or something.<\/p>\n

The wrong kind of sand<\/b><\/p>\n

Oh. Forgive us, we didn\u2019t really think that would be a thing.<\/p>\n

\"The beach was too sandy.\"<\/i>
\nHappens, guys.<\/p>\n

\"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.\"<\/i>
\nDo travel agencies not provide a sand colour chart or real samples? Scandalous!<\/p>\n

\"Nobody told us the sand would be hot. It was almost impossible to walk on it.\"
\n<\/i>Um.<\/p>\n

Tales of time and spatial (un)awareness<\/b><\/p>\n

\"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It only took the Americans three hours to get home.\"
\n<\/i>Well, there\u2019s this thing involving latitudes, longitudes, and, you know, sheer distance<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.\"<\/i>
\nCorrect! Spot the deliberate non-mistake.<\/p>\n

Learning a new language? Check out our <\/b>free placement test<\/a>\u00a0<\/b>to see how your level measures up!<\/b><\/p>\n

A Spanish affair<\/b><\/p>\n

\"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned.\"
\n<\/i>We do<\/i> apologise for the blatant display of our way of life; normal service will resume shortly.<\/p>\n

\"We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.\"<\/i>
\nThey do that.<\/p>\n

\"The brochure didn\u2019t say from what cardinal point the sun rises in Spain.\"
\n<\/i> \u2026? Important.<\/p>\n

And finally:<\/p>\n

\"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.\"
\n<\/i>Kind of just going to slightly tilt my head.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

GIF via Giphy<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

To be foreign<\/b><\/p>\n

And on that theme:<\/p>\n

\"There were too many Bulgarians in Bulgaria!\"
\n<\/i>\"We went to Turkey and there was far too many Turkish people for our liking,\"<\/i><\/p>\n

And don\u2019t forget the trauma of Finding Foreign Food Abroad<\/i>:<\/p>\n

\"Food in the Greek hotel was too Greek. We had to eat in the nearby fast food.\"
\n<\/i>Go on, we beg you; tell us the fast food<\/i> was a kebab.<\/p>\n

\"On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all.\"
\n<\/i>Now come on.<\/p>\n

The Darwin Awards\u00a0<\/b>of vacationing<\/b><\/p>\n

\"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.<\/i>\"
\n...did it say<\/i> it was a naked excursion?<\/p>\n

\"I was bitten by a mosquito. No one said they could bite.\"
\n...that\u2019s\u2026 that\u2019s what they do<\/i><\/p>\n

\"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.<\/i>\"
\n...but-<\/p>\n

\"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.\"
\n<\/i>well-<\/p>\n

\"There was no sign telling you that you shouldn\u2019t get on the hot air balloon ride if you\u2019re afraid of heights,\"<\/i>
\nDONE.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

GIF via Giphy<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

If you <\/b>really<\/i><\/b> feel like despairing at humanity<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined, as my husband spent all day looking at other women.\"<\/i>
\nYes, the fault is entirely on everyone aside from your lusty husband.<\/p>\n

\"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.\"<\/i>
\n...and?<\/p>\n

\"The ice in my glass melted too quickly.\"<\/i>
\nTRIP RUINED.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.\"
\n<\/i>Aye, aye!<\/p>\n

And finally<\/b><\/p>\n

Our favourites:<\/p>\n

\"Spotting the visibly aroused elephant ruined my honeymoon by making me feel inadequate.\"<\/i><\/p>\n

And:<\/p>\n

\"My fianc\u00e9 and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.\"<\/i><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

GIF via Giphy<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

We don\u2019t know about you, but suddenly we\u2019re struck the very strong need to lay down or drink.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you go to a new place on a quest for new experiences, surely it follows that there will be new things for you to discover. That, particularly if you go abroad, there will be things you don\u2019t understand, the location will have its own culture and history and was not in fact rapidly constructed(\u2026)<\/p>\n

\n
\n\t \t\t\t\tCONTINUE READING »<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":4278,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,27,1,28],"tags":[676,674,675,671,290,44,673,672],"class_list":["post-4277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fun-games","category-humour-offbeat","category-uncategorized","category-culture-travel","tag-abta","tag-amateurs","tag-first-time-traveller","tag-fun","tag-tourism","tag-travel","tag-travel-agent","tag-travelling-abroad"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Trials and Tribulations of the Inexperienced Traveller<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Join us as we despair a little at some of those travellers who apparently never imagined that the entire world wasn\u2019t dreamt up to cater to their every whim.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, 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